Kev and Robert Newbie

Robert Newbie was the man that Kev met in the park back at the beginning of this story. That was a long time ago, and they’ve never seen each other since. But Kev remembers. Kev remembers his old enemy.

It’s very early in the morning when Kev arrives at Robert’s house. So he waits. He sits on the lounge chair by the pool, and he waits.

At six in the morning, he rings the bell. Someone else answers the door and lets him in. Kev looks for Robert, and finds him, still in bed with his wife. Kev waits.

When Robert wakes, he is alarmed to find a man he barely remembers standing in his bedroom watching him sleep. Who then unleashes a barrage of abuse on him.

Once Kev has said his piece, he leaves, leaving Robert to be comforted by his wife after the traumatic experience.

Next: Celebration

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If you’ve found this tale of homelessness affecting, you might want to consider helping a real-world charity.

63 Responses to “Kev and Robert Newbie”


  1. 1 Jackrabbit September 23, 2009 at 9:29 am

    Ooooh, bitter old man with no-one to blame but himself. You can’t help but feel for Kev, slightly, even if he is an idiot.

  2. 4 Unnethe September 23, 2009 at 9:38 am

    Messed UP.

    Pity you can’t call the Sim police for anything other than theft.

    “And so Kev watched Bella sleep…” (Had to go there.)

  3. 11 melaniem September 23, 2009 at 9:56 am

    Ah, good old Kev never forgets… having one last go at everyone who’s ever done him wrong?

  4. 13 rogerdodger777 September 23, 2009 at 9:59 am

    hahahhaha i love kev!
    I think deep down he’s just a big softie

  5. 14 cannibalkid September 23, 2009 at 10:15 am

    hE SO CRAZY

  6. 15 Lynn ♥ September 23, 2009 at 10:26 am

    You just have to fall in love with Kev

  7. 16 Sophia September 23, 2009 at 12:03 pm

    where did kevin get that suit? did i miss something?

  8. 18 EmberLight September 23, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    That’s my Kev.🙂

  9. 19 suckmykiss September 23, 2009 at 12:36 pm

    He’s such a creeper. Watching your enemies sleep? Too bad he isn’t swift enough to be a ninja…

  10. 21 nexxus September 23, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    It’s like My name is Earl, but in reverse.

  11. 25 Mea September 23, 2009 at 1:07 pm

    That is.. disturbing… completely and utterly disturbing.. I only hope Kew buys the farm peacefully instead of provoking the wrong sim at the wrong time, getting into a fight and dying of a heart attack. Kev can’t help that he’s insane. He was born that way😛

  12. 26 Lobster September 23, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    Yikes, look at Rob’s wife’s arms. I think she might be a spider!

  13. 27 Julia September 23, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    Creepy…And yet I’m giggling like a madwoman.

  14. 29 Ryann September 23, 2009 at 4:42 pm

    I love you Kev! I knew you’d come back for me!!!!!

  15. 30 Tonnina September 23, 2009 at 4:59 pm

    I just recently downloaded Kev and Alice into my game… it’s funny to play them out in my own way… I like not using cheats for once! Only problem I had with Kev is in his bin diving he would find uncut stones worth $1,000 or more! so I got them cut and gave them to Alice… figured she’d like to use them after she leaves Kev. Anyway followed your tale from the start… I love it! keep up the good work!

  16. 31 alex September 23, 2009 at 5:19 pm

    i wonder what alice has been up to…

  17. 32 berrybetty September 23, 2009 at 5:55 pm

    LOL Kev is awesome…I feel a little sad for him though:/

  18. 33 Em September 23, 2009 at 7:38 pm

    Good to have the blog back to read! Its amazing the memories that the game allows the sims to have. Maybe next you can start from more of the beginning… like a kev like character who’s wife dies and he is left with a baby to “raise” …not that he really did much for Alice… But this seems like so much work!

  19. 34 Kalina September 23, 2009 at 7:46 pm

    yay 2 new posts@ but wheres alice??😄

  20. 35 cohenlegacy September 23, 2009 at 9:44 pm

    Welcome back! I’m so glad I was following your twitter; I would have forgotten about updates otherwise.

    Poor Kev. I wonder what will happen when he’s gone..?

    can’t wait to see how Alice is doing.

  21. 36 Skye September 23, 2009 at 9:50 pm

    Do you think Kev has mental problems? LOL

  22. 37 medleymisty September 23, 2009 at 10:27 pm

    Yeah, I was reminded of Twilight too. Kev is like Edward if he stopped being a vampire and got old.

  23. 38 A_J_9_8 September 23, 2009 at 10:51 pm

    Where’s Alice?No offense but I hate Kev!I wish Alice would finally STAND UP TO HIM!*stomps foot*

  24. 39 anit1983 September 23, 2009 at 10:51 pm

    Kev is a creep! Watching someone sleep, just to yell at them when they wake up. *Shudder* I know it’s not his fault that he’s crazy, but I’m locking my sims doors tonight.
    I can’t wait to see what Alice has been up to.

  25. 40 michaela September 23, 2009 at 10:57 pm

    woah i read all of this in a day

  26. 41 sodasippa September 23, 2009 at 11:00 pm

    Wow! I just re-read the whole blog! I can’t believe how much Alice and Kev have been through!
    I’m really glad you decided to start the blog again, you made alot of fans happy.🙂

  27. 42 Westiedog123 September 23, 2009 at 11:18 pm

    I have something to say about each picture.
    1. Smell something bad, Kev? Other than yourself?
    2. Creepy stalker. Watching an old couple sleep.
    3. Two old men argueing in an orange room? And paneling? Oh,
    Oh, boy.
    4. Slutty woman comforts an old man in boxers. Her eye
    shadow is clashing with the room too.

    Also in the first pic the Mr. Newbie is standing in his boxers in the window. I love how this thing is full of dramatic romances and senile old men in the wrong clothing.

  28. 43 Westiedog123 September 23, 2009 at 11:22 pm

    And don’t kill kev just yet. We need his craziness to fuel the comedy. Alice we cry over and root for, but without kev were basically reading the twilight series except she’s a redhead and her dad is the one doing the stalking.

  29. 44 tipix7 September 23, 2009 at 11:43 pm

    Loved the house decorations. How scary would it be to wake up and find Kev staring you down- when Kev takes action he really sticks to it. Is he going to tell off everyone in the town?

  30. 45 Ray September 24, 2009 at 12:59 am

    Lol, Kev just makes this blog a little more hilarious. Without him, this story would be EXTREMELY sad… It still is, but scenes with Kev’s antics and mistakes make me smile still.

    Keep up the good work!!!

  31. 46 Pie September 24, 2009 at 2:25 am

    how could h e forget about kev.impossble!

  32. 47 KingFrozen September 24, 2009 at 4:24 am

    Great. Kev is the most awesome old man i have ever seen!

    Also… jackrabbit? get a life man…

  33. 49 chiaopi September 24, 2009 at 6:54 am

    OMG!
    i assume ‘Kev is feeling his age’ means= Kev’s is feeling the end is soon…
    It’s like he’s saying goodbye to everyone he meet.. in the twisted way…
    I’m curious to see how he says good bye to Alice!

  34. 51 Scribbler September 24, 2009 at 7:07 am

    Good to see the blog up and running again. Thanks for taking the time to entertain us!

  35. 52 kansine September 24, 2009 at 11:29 am

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!!😄 I just fell in love with Kev! “Kev remembers… ” LMAO😀

  36. 53 Ryann September 24, 2009 at 6:10 pm

    Alice? WHERE ARE YOU!!!!????!?

  37. 54 Rockin_Munki September 24, 2009 at 7:21 pm

    HAHAHA! LOL
    Love Kevś face in first pic he looks so evil!

  38. 55 Al September 24, 2009 at 8:26 pm

    Eww, who just lets him into a house?

  39. 56 Valery September 24, 2009 at 9:06 pm

    Oh Kev so needs to die right in front of Alice😛

  40. 57 Team Alice September 24, 2009 at 9:42 pm

    Yeah, Kev is just letting out his INNER FRUSTRATIONS. Tis his last chance to do all the stuff he didn’t do in his adult years… If that’s even possible…

    Keep up the good work.

  41. 58 Georgia September 25, 2009 at 2:36 am

    your late one update. >:|

  42. 59 southchiks September 25, 2009 at 5:00 am

    ok this isn’t very good anymore.Did the real writer die or something?

  43. 60 Emore September 25, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    Yay! Go Alice! Glad to see her happy for once.🙂

  44. 61 ♥Mikayla♥ September 25, 2009 at 7:26 pm

    Oh wow! I thought Kev was going to kill him! That’s so scary he was standing there watching him sleep…eeeek that would be so scary he could have gave the guy a heart attack!!!😮

  45. 63 Rafx September 25, 2010 at 8:52 pm

    Im a year late reading this, good stuff, please post more😦


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About Me

My name is Robin Burkinshaw, and I am a student of games design in the UK. I am also known in some places as roBurky.
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© 2009 Robin Burkinshaw

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